11 Reader Comments on Pets | Cup of Jo
If there’s one thing I know about the Cup of Jo community, it’s that we love pets. If a house tour features a shy cat or snuggly dog, I need to wait only three minutes until a flood of “But what is the cat/pup’s name/backstory/zodiac sign?!” comments start flooding in. So, let’s boost our serotonin levels and talk about why pets are the best. Here are 11 great reader comments…
On unconditional love:
“Young and single, I walked into a rescue, and a dog reached his paw out from a crate, touched my hand and changed my life forever. Dogs always find the best in a person. He’s gotten to know my niece and appreciates her sticky hands and abandoned Nutri-Grain bars. He was the first person outside of my family to love me unconditionally. It’s still just the two of us, but sometimes I think about him meeting the other people I will love in the future.” — Kate
“Our family adopted a puppy, and I’m embarrassed to admit that, for quite a while, I didn’t like him. He nipped at the children, chewed up shoes and bothered our older dog. But, slowly, he wiggled his way into my heart, faults and all. The way he greets me with a big tail wag. The way he snuggles his body close. The way he gets his leash with excitement when he thinks we are taking him somewhere fun. Now I am his forever.” — Lindsay
On showing up for each other:
“Wilson the hamster helped me meet my running goal during quarantine. I read that hamsters run five miles a night, and there was no way I was going to let a hamster or 2020 beat me. So, I ran five miles a day on my treadmill. If I ever didn’t feel like running, all I had to do was listen for Wilson’s wheel. Then I knew I had to get up and go. I ended that year with 2039 miles run.” — Rebecca
“I was working from home on a tough day and got an email about a deal falling through — the final straw! I started crying, and my pug immediately hopped on the couch and put her paws on my shoulders as she licked my face. It was like having someone you love telling you everything is going to be all right.” — Christine
On pets being just like us:
“I read about how sniffing was like reading books for dogs. So, it makes me happy when my dog is taking extra sniffs; her reading warms my heart.” — Sadie
“When our dog turned two, I called my husband saying I thought he was ill, as he had done nothing but sleep on the couch all morning for two days in a row. It felt out of his character. My husband thought about it, then replied, “Well, it seems like we no longer have a puppy. We now have a dog.” — Rachel
On rituals:
“Our Basset mix is a couch-sleeping, bacon-eating cuddle bug. Our family’s favorite nightly ritual is watching Roy arrange the pillows on the couch for his maximum comfort.” — Sarah
“Every morning as I leave the house, I tell my husband I love him, my dog I love him more, and my cat I love him most. Having pets is possibly the best part of this happy life.” — Joanna
On learning from pets:
“Nancy Tillman wrote a wonderful book for kids called The Heaven of Animals. I read it while pregnant and started sobbing in the middle of Costco. Years later, someone gave it to one of my kids, and I still can’t read it without bawling, especially after we lost our sweet Goldie. The quote that always gets me: ‘When angels whisper in animal ears, it is your voice that each animal hears.'” — Jill
“I am an atheist, but this line from a superb documentary about Istanbul street cats, spoken by a gruff Turkish sailor, ran down my spine like an electric shock: ‘God brings us closer to him in different ways. For me, it was these animals. I guess I was worthy of his love.’ — Lauren
“My husband and I read ‘I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life’ by Mary Oliver at my son’s first birthday, which underscores why dogs are love.” — Ari
I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life
by Mary Oliver
Love, love, love, says Percy.
And hurry as fast as you can
along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.
Then, go to sleep.
Give up your body heat, your beating heart.
Then, trust.
What about you? How have pets made your life feel full? We’d love to hear.
P.S. 14 adorable quarantine pets and human anatomy according to my dog.
(Photo by MaaHoo/Stocksy.)
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My husband and I brought home a mini sheepadoodle pup at 10 weeks old this summer. I was excited, my husband was anxious (very reflective of our natural states of mind). It hasn’t been the easiest time raising this puppy together, but we’ve learned so much more about each other and about ourselves. It feels like pre-training for a (human) newborn and seeing my husband dote on our pup, Georgia, makes me think he’s going to be the best dad in the future if/when we have human children. And if we have daughters – he won’t stand a chance!
I have two cats that i have had since they were about 10 weeks old (they are now 16). I got them together with my flatmates in college. I am freaked out about them dying because they have really become our companions. A new ritual that our girl cat does, is if I have to go to bathroom during the night she
follows me in there and meows very loudly while I am on the toilet,
because she wants to be petted. I
am usually too tired to resist and it
can be endearing too.
This poem made me cry so much, I didn’t expect that!
Especially as English is not my first language (I’m French).
Thank you so much Jannelle for the discovery and for the interesting conversations your post inspired!
My beloved ginger boy Jerry was hit by a car and died the day this was written and I am still reeling from the fact that he is gone. Only about 10. I moved to a new town in the pandemic and had a baby and he was my companion during it all. I already feel so lonely without him, I can’t bear the idea of working from my home office tomorrow without him on my lap or on the window ledge. I know I’ll never completely get his loss.
Oh my dear, just saw this and I am SO sorry.
I’m sure he had a wonderful life with you and I hope that thought is a consistent comfort to you.
All the pet lovers-I HIGHLY reccomend checking out the instagram account wearehappydoggo or their Substack Happy Doggo. It is a non-profit based in Thailand that is working to solve the world’s street dog problem. I laugh, cry (hard!) and smile big while reading and following along on their inspiring journey!
This post really got me. My beloved dog is dying of cancer. I got him 8 years ago while my parents were going through a terrible divorce and, as my family disintegrated around me, he has been my only companion and my absolute soul doggo.
I found out he had cancer and then, three days later, my dad passed away. My dog had an amputation while I was planning my dad’s funeral, then just as his doctors were about to declare him at “no visible cancer” status, it came back aggressively in another leg. It’s been an unbearably sad year and the anticipatory grief is just awful. It feels like I am watching my own heart break in slow motion.
This poem is everything. I’ve always called my dog my lifestyle guru. Once again, Mary Oliver just gets it.
The anticipatory grief is so so hard. I’m going through it with my baby cat who has cancer as well and the ups and downs are a lot…it’s like weeks of grief followed by weeks of delusion that maybe the cancer has gone away…I just wanted to say you’re definitely not alone. If you’re a podcast person at all there’s one called Good Mourning about grief, and they had a pet loss episode awhile back that I’ve saved and get a lot of comfort from. Sending you and your pup lots of love.
I don’t know if I can cope with this one! Firstly, I can’t even read anyone’s comments because I am crying so much. But then can we take a moment to see how cool COJ is, where else could we all gather to say “all dogs/cats/frogs… are the best” and “yes, I will 100% talk to my dead pets and make sure they greet your pet when the time comes”… and I know all meant it.
After cleaning up a stinky surprise our elderly cat left on our bed, my boyfriend said, while smothering her in kisses: “She is teaching me so much about unconditional love. That was so, so, disgusting, but I could never be mad at her for it or hold anything against her.” :’)
What a great quote!
I hope the boyfriend stays, even after the beloved cat is no longer.
A few months ago, a distant but lovely friend of my partner passed away from cancer. He had two elderly, semi-medically needy male cats. We already have one cat, Ruby who loves everyone but seemed to need a cat friend or two. My partner, not really a cat guy, had always grumbled at my suggestion for another cat but saw a post about his friend’s male cats needing a home together or they were in danger of being surrendered to the shelter. He asked me what I thought. Of course, I said yes and the rescue brought the boys to us the next day. And thus began the integration of Stanley and Charlie into our family! It hasn’t been all smooth sailing, Ruby wants to play, the boys think she is attacking. Charlie is mostly blind and has arthritis, so he runs into things but does it slowly. haha. Stanley is the nosiest animal I have ever met and has been accidentally locked in every closet, cupboard, and drawer he have. But they have so much love in them. Charlie loves to cuddle, Stanley just wants to be near whoever will feed him, and Ruby brings toys to both of them to play with. We formally adopted the boys after two months of fostering, just to be sure it was a good fit. The day of adoption, our 9 year daughter organized a party for the boys, complete with balloons, cake, treats and presents for all 3 cats including Big Younger Sister Ruby. As the festivities were winding down, I heard our daughter whisper to Charlie, the oldest of the boys, “i know you miss your dad, but we’re your family now and we love you like your dad plus extra!” oh my heart!
Precious!
I was holding it together for most of these comments, but goodness you’re daughter has me bawling… plus extra. <3
Even though my heart belongs to two beautiful dogs that have departed in the past 2 years, I firmly believe that about 70% of pet owners are not fit for the job. I feel that on the whole, pet ownership is just another capitalistic rouse and the pet soon gets tossed aside like a Shein haul out of season. Literally thousands of dogs and cats are euthanised every week and it’s just heartbreaking. So many dogs sit alone in backyards for 10 hours a day, not getting walked or paid any attention. At the very least, if we all commit to just adopting rescues and staying away from purpose-bred puppies, that’s a start. I know, Im such a Debbie Downer, and COJ readers are probably on the whole not the type of people to do this, but I still discourage everyone I know from owning a dog unless they absolutely have the time, energy and commitment for the dog’s entire lifetime :-(
I agree, Ali! I honestly feel that pet ownership, especially dogs, has gotten out of control, especially in urban areas. I live in a neighborhood in Prague where nobody has outdoor space and nearly all the flats are tiny and there are sooooo many huge dogs around. I just think it’s not ideal for them. Also a lot of unleashed dogs chasing runners, a lot of poop not picked up, etc. I’m not a dog hater, I promise, but I’m also kinda over it. Not everyone needs to have a pet!
Yes x 10000. I hear excuses for buying bred animals and want to scream.
I understand this completely. The pets I’ve shared my life with are so deeply important to me and I love them wildly. At the same time, I see the harm people do to their pets and in the name of our pets and it breaks my heart. Every cat and dog I have loved has lived off the lives of farmed animals I never met. I see how people toss pets aside and how badly they often treat the pets they keep. I don’t know if I will adopt more pets (all have and will be adopted, not purchased) but I do think it would be best for everyone if we stopped having pets as a society. Perhaps we could, instead, fill our need for connection by reconnecting with the plants and animals that live wild around us. Each day, I find more and more pleasure in making my yard a hospitable place for wild creatures who visit on their own terms. And still, I will gratefully snuggle my beloved cat tonight. Both our love and our heartbreak are real.
We have a beloved daughter and another on the way but we are solidly dog people rescue pup is deeply a member of our family. My daughter describes her likes and dislikes in terms of being a xyz dog as in “I’m a water dog” or “I’m not a supermarket shopping dog”. About 2 years into parenting we realized we were calling our dog and daughter “the dogs” as in “Okay dogs lets get in the car!”.
When my now-husband and I adopted our pup she was a hot mess and we spent 6 months nursing her to health. Then we broke up and the next day the vet called to tell us that as suspected, our rescue pup did indeed have heartworm. For anyone who has dealt with heartworm you know it’s a brutal, all-hands on deck treatment requiring months and months of round the clock dog care to make sure your pup doesn’t get their heartrate up (which can be deadly) a.k.a no long walks, no barking out the window and errant leaves (her fav) or squirrels, no playing tug or running up the 3 flights of stairs in our home. My partner was planning to move out when we decided we would continue living together during the course of treatment to make sure our dog was safe and then part ways. Well of course that led to today and our beautiful life together. In many ways we owe our family and so much of our joy to our 13 lb poorly behaved, barky, bad-attitude, rescue pup who spoons between us on the bed all night and growls if we so much as move a muscle. <3 dogs forever
This is a terrific story.
And I love that all the small creatures in your house are referred to as “the dogs”.
Anyone else reading the comments and just sobbing? Just me? I think l’ll get a pet one day after reading these beautiful reflections.
When I adopted my little Carlton, he was severely underweight and had a limp bad. He had injured himself in the shelter and the vet said he would probably always have it. When he came into my life I was also broken, and slowly over the many walks and snuggles and love, we both began to heal. His limp disappeared and I was able to experience joy again. Now 10 years later, our lives look very different now and recently Carl’s limp has come back (from arthritis), reminding me of the time we brought each other back to life.
As hard as the pandemic was (I was stuck in a studio apartment, half a country away from my family), being home truly brought the best out in my formerly aloof cat. He transformed into this amazingly sweet, affectionate cat that will stand on his back feet and stretch his arms up my leg so I’ll pick him up and hold him. He purrs while I put my ear to his tummy. I feel so lucky I got to spend all this time with him and see him bloom into his own.
I’m in Lindsay’s boat, I voted no on a puppy. Now our eight year old dachshund is devoted to me and never leaves my side. He’s my soulmate and we can’t live without each other.
Sandy , my little westie , joined me last year. I have kissed this dog more than I have ever been kissed myself. She just turned eight and the other day I found myself sobbing , thinking that she will leave me one day.
This is my first dog and I have never experienced anything like it before. The idea of her not being around kills me.
The love of my life was a lab-pit-boxer mix named Sam. He had a huge head and big ears and he was ours. Truly, he was a once-in-a-lifetime dog who could be coaxed into walking, not running. He got car sick and had to ride up front. He loved the sound of a toy ripping to shreds (tiger-tested it said!). He loved to find the squeaker and parade it around the house making a racket. He was devastated when we brought our first human child home from the hospital but he rallied and was soon helping with tummy time like a champ. He learned to walk with a stroller. When I had perinatal depression and postpartum depression he stayed next to me for hours and days and weeks and months, just being there. Sam was the most comforting presence in my life. Ever. With his huge head in my lap one last time, he left us in January 2023. I miss him every day. How lucky I am to have known a love like that.
Getting all teary, E.W. How luck you were, indeed!
My love was a 140lb senior rescue dog named Bruno. I thanked him for his love and held him as he passed on Christmas Eve, 2020, but as EB White would say, I carry his heart with me; I carry it in my heart.
“I guess I was worthy of his love”—this is how I feel about my rescue cats, every day! Especially the one who was the most timid when we got him. It’s been so incredible to watch him over the years, going from a shy kitten with a nervous eye twitch watching us from across the room, to a snuggly and sweet boy who happily rolls over to offer his vulnerable little belly for rubs. It always makes me feel so special and lucky to be trusted in that way!
After the 17th fish died in two years, my son insisted he wanted a parrot. I had indoor outdoor cats my whole life and my bird knowledge was limited to what the cat dragged in. My son, in need of a therapy pet, agreed to pay for the parrot and held 3 lemonade stands, raising most of the money to buy our quaker parrot, Kiwi. I had no idea. I love her so much. I am baffled at how much I can love something so much that is so small. She knows when my son is upset and preens him. She laughs when we laugh. I look forward to coming home everyday from work and holding her. She is always on my shoulder. I had not had a pet in so long. I forgot how wonderful it is.
I was not a dog person until we got our dog. I love him more than the sun and the moon and the earth. HOW? How can I love a dog this much? All I know is that he “gets” me. I don’t know how else to say it. He understands my needs and wants and I understand his. It is more simple and more pure than any human relationship.
My husband and I have a 3 1/2 year-old Shih Tzu mix named Reilly. I love him so much I could run screaming into the sea.
This is hysterical! I feel the exact same way about my little almost 12-year-old Havanese, Malfoy.
I am clearly not the majority. I grew up with pets, had two personal dogs in a time in life where I loved and enjoyed them. Now in my late 40’s, with aging parents, adult kids, grandkids, college kids, and 2 kids still in the home, working full time, I loathe my animals. One was dumped by a college kid after he insisted he could keep it ( despite warnings to not get one while in school) and the other was a divorce guilt buy for my 16 yr old. NO one does the work for the animals but me. Kids are now too busy and dont have time to pay much attention. So I have the responsibility of taking care of two dogs I didnt want to begin with. The one from the college kid is a breed I hate, and its core behaviors and I dont mix. The teen son is gone with a demanding school and job. As much as I insist on help its not consistent and thus I do it all. The resentment is real, and there is no love for them. I just go through the motions and realize that perhaps I really dont like animals afterall they shouldve grown on me by now right?!!
Amber, that sounds really hard and your frustration is valid and perfectly understandable. I say this with all the empathy – have you considered or tried to rehome either dog? Especially if they are a specific breed (the college adoptee), there might be local(ish) groups that can support and help you with this, or broader rescue organizations. Obviously you don’t want to hand them off to just anyone, but it could really be in the dog’s best interest (and YOURS!) to try and find them a home where there needs can be met. And again – you regaining some sanity would be wonderful. Good luck with everything you have going on, that is a lot of balls in the air.
I’m sorry to read you are dealing with this situation, but I think it is not uncommon. I know of several very decent and kind people who are each in a situation where the responsibility for a pet, for various reasons, has become a burden. Like you, they soldier on and do the best they can for themselves and the animals. I hope you get some support and a solution presents itself.
Amber, I feel this deeply. We all know the phrase “right person, wrong time” – I think that’s very true for animals too. I’m sorry you’re having to care for 2 additional beings without help, on top of everything else. And the mis-match behaviors on the breed really speaks to me. Thank you for caring for them anyway. I think that DOES prove that you like animals, as you did not choose to re-home them, but care for them as well as you can. Hugs to you, I hope it gets easier.
Hey Amber, I think it’s brave to admit when it’s not a good fit and there are probably a lot of people in your position. It sounds like you’ve been a very dutiful pet parent, but can’t give them the love and attention they need. Have you considered rehoming your dogs to a household that might really enjoy them? Perhaps if it’s someone in your community, your kids could still have a relationship with the dogs if they want one. Just a thought – and you’d obviously want to be selective with an adopter – but I have helped many families rehome their animals and the outcome was better for everyone involved.
I wonder… do they like *you*? Bc if not, there’s no harm in trying to adopt them out. I once had a cat that barely tolerated/mildly disliked me, and was so much happier when he went to live with a different family member who wanted him.
Have you thought about rehoming them? I do not ask this pejoratively. If you aren’t happy, and you can’t access love and joy to share with your pets, then everyone may be better off and happier with a new situation. I hope things get better soon; it sounds like there’s a lot on your plate.
Rehome the dogs. They deserve love. And you deserve to be free of resentment.
I feel super sad for you and super sad for the dogs. I totally agree, not many people should own dogs because its not for everyone and its hard to do very well. I know alot of people are saying to rehome them but its so hard to rehome dogs well, so many get euthenised. Maybe look at rehoming as a long term goal but in the meantime, look at the positives – dogs can get you out for walk, you might not do otherwise. Look at them as a responsibility that will only be with you for a few short years, taking barely the time to look after we might scroll on social media. They still deserve to be loved and cared for – it’s not their fault :-(
Amber: I’m so sorry. Your whole situation sucks so much. Definitely consider trying to rehome one or both dogs. And doing that doesn’t make you a hater.
I agreed to take on two old lady cats when my good friend’s weird ex-brother-in-law died and left his ex-wife (my friend’s sister) and their kid to clean up everything and deal with four elderly pets (two dogs and two cats). My family had just come off several years of taking care of our own old sickly cats and weren’t looking to adopt more any time soon. But no one would take the old ladies and the shelter told my friend they would be euthanized because no one would want them. I’ve had them for two years and, I admit, was resentful in the beginning. They’re not cute and very insecure because the previous owner showed them very little love. They’ve grown on me now but I have some help from my brother and boyfriend to care for them. Maybe if your family would get off their butts and give you a little help it might make you feel less resentful. It worked for me. Eventually. Hang in there!
Dogs are love. What a lovely and true statement!
I grew up desperately wanting a dog. When my husband and I picked out our first rescue pup, I sobbed all the way home in disbelief that I finally had my own. She was the best thing to ever happen to us, and we still tear up when we talk about her (I’m tearing up now). She passed suddenly and unexpectedly during the pandemic, taking a large chunk of our hearts with her. Our rescues since the OG have tested my patience and driven me to the brink at times, but I just can’t imagine life without a dog knowing how it felt without one.
While the pain of losing an animal can be almost unbearable at times, the absolute joy of living everyday and experiencing life beside a furry little soulmate is what gives (my) life meaning.
That poem.. sob. We have 2 adopted pups and their personalities couldn’t be more different. One is old and loyal, and the other is brilliant but much more anxious. But what has surprised me is how much I’ve bonded with my sons hamster. He talked me into adopting a hamster (Jellybean) last year and she has so much personality! She loves to be held and pet. Pets are just the best.
In my university years, I did a ton of babysitting. I babysat for one family whose home felt cool and distant. I never saw the parents take genuine interest in their kids or show affection (I once saw the mom come home after a 3-day work trip and grab something and head back out without greeting the kids). I felt homesick whenever I was there. The one good thing was that they had an Australian cattle dog who was the best dog I’ve ever met. She was so kind and loyal. She loved the kids and she followed me around the house wherever I went. When I took the kids for walks she stayed alongside us without a leash. I could cry thinking about the comfort and love she brought to that home and to me.
wow, sounds like that dog was a miracle for the kids! I love you noticing and sharing this.
My 2 cats are excellent companions. My husband travels a lot, so it’s nice to have them there to greet me and our son when we get home. They are sweet, sassy (one of them) and incredibly important members of our family. I don’t even think of them as pets. They ARE family.
My beloved cat, Leslie Knope, is terminally ill and I’m living in a phase of anticipatory grief (she’s only 11!! A baby!!) alongside delusion (she gained weight! maybe she magically healed??). She is only 9 pounds but the absolute spiciest, most loving, assertive little girl. She’s definitely the alpha!! I genuinely cannot imagine life without her – screaming to be fed every morning at the late hour of 4am, then hopping over to sit in my lap after she eats, purring happily. I don’t know how to navigate this grief but Leslie is leading the way, as she always does.
One of the hardest parts for me is that she doesn’t have friends in the great wherever we go after this – she’ll (most likely) be the first of our animals to go. I’ve asked friends and I’ll ask it here…if anyone has a beloved animal that has crossed the rainbow bridge, can you maybe ask them to welcome Leslie whenever she arrives? So she isn’t alone?
She really is a soulmate for me. I
I just asked my sweet Lulu cat to welcome Leslie Knope! They sound like two peas in a pod! My heart shattered when we lost Lulu in 2020 and I am crying as I write this. She will always be in your heart. And the universe has a way of sending you who you need—we adopted two little orange sisters unexpectedly a few weeks later.
My sweet cat Nico will absolutely welcome Leslie Knope! Our family lost her in June and we miss her every single day. Sending love your way. Xx
Oh Kate. I’m so sorry. Don’t worry. I’ve asked my sweet Sammy to join Lulu’s welcome party. I lost Sammy two years ago and you’d think it was just yesterday. I adopted her right after moving out on my own. She taught me so much and watched me grow up from moving from Kansas to Washington, D.C. to marrying my husband to finally having space when we bought our first home after all those studios. Sending you lots of hugs.
I am crying as I write this, too. I asked our brother and sister team of Boston Terriers, Flash and Frida, and our hamster, Buttercup, to look out for sweet Leslie. I’m not sure what they all would’ve thought of one another on this side, but I’m certain that everyone gets along across the rainbow bridge. So, so, so much love to you, Kate and Leslie.
I just lost my soul cat, George, at 8, and the grief is so real!
Kate, my Sally, Bella, and Panda will all be waiting for Leslie.
A week after Bella passed, she came back to me in a dream and she was so happy and healthy, so please trust Leslie will be, too.
Thank you all so much. I can’t tell you how much comfort it gives me to imagine a whole group of new animal friends waiting for Leslie when it’s time. ❤️❤️❤️ and Savannah I love that dream you had!!
Kate, I am so sorry! I currently have 3 kitties, but prior to them I had 2 who were siblings – Missy and Whisky. They both crossed the rainbow bridge several years ago. I used to refer to Whisky as the “Walmart Greeter” in our house because he loved everyone. I know he will be more than willing to wait for Leslie Knope and welcome her with open paws. Sending you hugs!
oh I just asked my sweet Miscellaneous (a black and white older lady cat) and Luna (a tabby torti, sadly taken at 6 years) to look out. They are both the sweetest ladies and would never be mean to anyone. They know what Loveland care feel like – they can receive but are even better at giving. They will look for Leslie. Some of the other cats I’ve loved are too busy having fun and causing mischief but they yelled “Meow, tell her it’s the best – everyone’s fun up here”.
I’m also really sorry – there’s no love like the big love you can share with your pet. I’m really sorry for the pain you will endure. In my experience nothing much helps except when you can, adopting a new friend, it doesn’t help with the grief because that’s there forever, but it helps with the love and that is a glorious thing. You have to love, and be loved. Leslie knows that, that is why she came to you in the first place. You were the right fit.
My first cat Felix and my two hamsters Rosie and Fips will be waiting for Leslie Knope – she will never be alone and in sweetest company while watching over you!
I’m an only child from a very pet-loving family. I grew up surrounded by silly dogs and strange cats and ponds in the yard full of fish and frogs. Once I graduated college I promptly got a floofy cat and felt like my life truly started. I believe there are a million ways to build a meaningful life but I scratch my head a bit when I think of people who don’t have pets. Imagining life without a pet is what I think it may be like for someone to imagine their sibling just vanished from the earth. A gaping hole, a screaming silence. I never want to be without a pet, or as Edith Wharton put it, “a heartbeat at my feet.” <3
We had a cat named Stormy for 16 years…He showed up in the yard of the apartment we were living at in Virginia Beach, and it was a stormy afternoon! He saw us through a cross country move, a hurricane , 2 kids , 2 states and 3 homes. In one way he was a grumpy old man, but he had his rituals. When we tucked the kids in each night, he would make the rounds too, hoppimg up on thier bed for a snuggle. A couple times one of us was home sick…he stayed on the bed with us all day!
I grew up with all kinds of pets and always had pets, but then developed an allergy later in life to cats and couldn’t have one. Oh I tried! Then the lockdown happened and I lived alone. I decided to take the chance and went to the shelter to see about adopting a bunny. There were so many cute bunnies! But I asked, which one had been there the longest? They brought out a little three pound all white with red eyes female. She had finally been adopted but the adoptee’s mother was in Italy and got covid and she had been returned. She pretty much lived at the shelter for nine months. I named her Sweetie and took her home. I joke that I’ve adopted myself in animal form- she’s a little bit introverted and only wants to be touched on her own terms. We saved each other.
We got our first family pet last October – a cocapoo-bischon puppy. At the time, we got this puppy because my youngest son (in his early 20s) was going through some heartbreak and generally just some rough times. Who knew that my husband and I needed the joy of this little guy just as much? We thought we were pretty happy people, but this little puppy just brought some much more laughter and love into some previously unknown empty space. He has brought complete chaos with his chewing and digging in our gardens, but it’s a happy chaos that we apparently needed. If I had read this comment from someone else a year ago, I may have discarded it as not applicable to me. It’s amazing, truly amazing what the love of a sweet little, scrappy puppy can bring to your life.
I have always loved animals and since I was old enough to voice my wishes, I asked for a dog every birthday and every Christmas. The wishes eventually came through and our family got the kindest and sweetest golden retriever who is forever in our hearts. For years I was not in a position to get a new dog, as I didn’t have the time nor the money. But after years of battling a depression, and finally coming out on the other side I decided it was time. As Covid hit, it seemed like everyone and their mother got dogs and all kennels where empty and the waiting lists were long. But then I found him, the perfect little puppy was born at the end of 2020 and as the breeder hand picked all the new owners he was soon to be mine. It was no joke to work from home while raising a puppy on my own, but at the same time my life got so much better. It’s impossible to be sad while watching a puppy eat a carrot for the first time, or running through a puddle or just playing with a new toy. My puppy is now almost 4, he is 40kgs (88lbs according to google) and the sweetest little big bundle of joy. I get out for a least three walks a day, have gotten so many new friends, gotten to know many neighbors that I had never spoke. To before, and all of a sudden I have a reason to head of to the woods so he can roam freely. Basically dogs >>>>>>>>>€€€
My husband and I had our guinea pigs for seven years. We were the butt of so many jokes — “how can you love a guinea pig?!” Uh, because they’re adorable fluffy potato-shaped critters with exactly one brain cell between the two of them? How could you NOT love a guinea pig?!
I love this description of guinea pigs! It really made me chuckle. I had a beloved one as a child named Lori. When she died of kidney disease we planted a plant a plant in our backyard over her grave and it outlived every plant in that garden!
We went to a shelter to look at a cat that had been posted online. Sadly, that cat was a dud but there was this other one, a fat black wooly bear, lolling on top of his crate begging for belly rubs. Nearby was another one, taller, more reserved, and watching intently like a gargoyle from a distance. Definitely signaling that ˜his˜ belly was not open for rubs. The shelter staff told us that both the belly-rub beggar and the observer were a pair that had been brought in together, but they didn’t need to be adopted that way.
We actually fell in love with the beggar and were next to the exit, talking with the staff about next steps—when the observer came sauntering in. There was a window sill about waist height that I was standing next to. The cat made a beeline to the window, jumped up on the sill, sat down, and leaned his fill body weight into my side, and sighed. The staff member’s eyes got really wide and she whispered “I can’t believe he just did that” and we all just stood there, not wanting to break the mood.
We went home with two cats that day.
Those boys were the best, but sadly, both passed on from cancer about three years ago within a couple of months of each other. Even though we have another kitty now, I still miss the observer every day.
This warmed my heart. I lost a kitty to cancer, too. Your boys sound wonderful. Sending love
Quietly crying at my desk this morning reading these beautiful stories and comments. There are no words to accurately describe the pureness of love pets give to us. I’m thinking of my lively and headstrong first love Penny, the dog that built my heart and took a piece with her when she left us two years ago, and of my sweet, gentle Nellie who is, every day, helping to put me back together.
I read somewhere that “the strongest bond in the family is the bond between the dad and the dog he didn’t want.”
It’s absolutely true in our family, where my husband sort of got railroaded into accepting a puppy in our lives three years ago. Today they are the best of friends and quite inseparable. I don’t think anything else has as big of an effect on my husband’s day-to-day quality of life as our cairn terrier Dino – making sure that he takes the time for a daily walk even when work is the busiest, and showering him with unconditional love as soon as they’ve been apart for more than a few minutes.
LOL, so true!
Yup 💯
I’d recommend listening to Kate Bush’ song ‘Lake Tahoe’
https://youtu.be/ZQz-dJSGECs?si=zN2rzv2eP1W53zbe
My current dog is a total bong lord. She reminds me of the loose canons I share houses with in my twenties. She’s 3 now and still absolutely brimming full of beans, doing parkour off the stone fences at the beach, tucking her tail in and doing those shark eyes before fifty laps of zoomies. She is brave and silly, but she is also so sensitive and when the storms roll in there’s no where else she can be except cuddled up on my chest with an ear to my heartbeat. She’s a full grown Labrador so not a lap dog by any means but I would not trade being her safe space for the world.
Highly recommend Dog Songs by Mary Oliver (which the above poem is from). Here’s another favorite…
Little Dog’s Rhapsody in the Night (Percy Three)
He puts his cheek against mine
and makes small, expressive sounds.
And when I am awake, or awake enough
he turns upside down, his four paws
in the air
and his eyes dark and fervent.
Tell me you love me, he says.
Tell me again.
Could there be a sweeter arrangement? Over and over
he gets to ask it.
I get to tell.
I found Dog Songs after losing my first dog and I now gift it to friends when their dog passes. Something about Mary’s prose is both comforting and knowing. Being loved by dogs is so universal.
I am madly in love with my ragdoll cat, Luigi. We bought him during lockdown and he has stolen my heart. Every time I look at him, I cannot believe how beautiful he is. And he is as soft as a cloud.
He sleeps at the foot of my bed every night and sits with my daughter on the couch while she watches TV; there is no better sight than seeing him curled up next to her.
I often laugh thinking that he must have the best self-esteem in the world! Every time I see him I tell him how beautiful and amazing he is.
Luigi is the best cat name, love that.
We are a pet family! When we met my husband and I each had a dog and two cats which made a blended family of 2 dogs and 4 cats! I feel in love with him when he carried my dog for the last two miles on a strenuous hike! Our current dog was a velociraptor as a young dog but now has mellowed considerably! She loves having us all together and whenever we do a family hug, she squeezes into the center of the huddle! And our current cat loves being draped over your shoulder–a king riding around on his throne! Getting to love them is a special bond to have as a family and knowing they love us makes us feel chosen and special.
Oof. Big deep breaths as I read this post. We just adopted a puppy from a shelter a month ago. We were told it was a lab mix. A DNA test just for fun told us otherwise: a mix of Bully and Pitbull. Although the sweetest and cuddliest pup, this put his aggressive moments of biting and lunging at our son (def not puppy nibbles) in a new light. I’m so confused and wonder if this puppy I’m falling in love with is also making my home unsafe for my kids and their friends? Any helpful suggestions or advice is appreciated and welcome. Grateful for this community of pet lovers.
I would find a great trainer and start working with them asap. They will be able to give you insight into your dogs behavior and help you make sure everyone stays safe. I know it might also be a controversial take but it’s ok if it’s not the right dog for you, it’s ok to find him a new home, not every family is a match for every dog. By getting to know him and what he needs you are going to be able to give him a much better shot at finding his forever home if you do feel you need to rehome him.
Hi Rebecca! I’m a pittie owner and generally a lover/advocate of bully breeds. I’m sorry your experience hasn’t been what you thought it would be, but I do think your sweetie still has the potential to be a great family dog! I’ve known many pits who are sweet and loving with children and never shown any signs of aggression. If you’re not in puppy training classes with the new pup yet I would definitely recommend it, so you can get some tried and true guidance on how to curb those less desirable behaviors. Good luck!
I would get professional dog training and see what can be done and get their opinion. Dog behavior specialists or dog trainers can come to your house or often put on classes. Positive dog training /discipline is a form of dog training that is gentle and compassionate and often indicates the professional has gone through some dog training courses themselves. Good luck!
I have a pitbull and I can truly say he is the best dog I’ve ever had. He is my soulmate. I’ve never known a love like pitbull love and I am so so so happy I didn’t let my second thoughts get the best of me.
Backstory: I’m a dog lover. I’ve never met a dog I didn’t love and that didn’t love me back. I grew up with a lab and then an english bull terrier (target dog). My ex brought a pitbull home while I was away on a business trip right before Christmas (2011) and I was not thrilled to say the least. Being a dog person, I figured he would be obsessed with me immediately. Nope. He growled at me in the first 5 mins when I was smothering him with kisses (not smart on my part). I was devastated and very concerned. He was 7 months old and already 70lbs. The shelter closed for a Christmas break so there wasn’t much I could do short term. 48 hours later we imprinted while I was working from home and he has been my shadow ever since. He’s never growled again and is completely fabulous with babies, kids and any small creature. He is SO gentle with them. We worked on training and LOTS of exercise during those puppy years, but it was so worth it. The love he brings is beyond measure.
Pitbulls get horrible reputations because of their strength and loyalty. They are one of the few breeds that are so loyal that can be trained to do anything for their owner. I’m sure with some patience and training – your pup is going to be the most loyal/cuddly/best buddy to your kids and their friends. I would wager that in a few years, you’ll laugh at your second thoughts once you get to see how amazing they can be.
With that said, its important to note any animal – dog, cat, mouse etc. can do harm. That harm is also pretty much proportional to it’s size/strength.
I’ll also end with the fact pitbulls also have a nickname “nanny dogs” for a reason. Prior to the breed being known for fighting they were actually known for how much they loved kids.
Hi Rebecca, this sounds like a very stressful situation. I would enroll your pet in a reputable puppy training class if you’re able, and definitely keep a close eye on your pups interaction with your child. At the end of the day if you feel your child or their friends are unsafe you will probably need to take the dog back to the shelter or try to rehome him. We all love our pets but your child’s safety should always come first.
Hi Rebecca, I would caution against assuming just because your dog has some Bully genes it is inherently more dangerous. Unfortunately there has been a lot of misinformation and stereotyping about these dogs (much of it based in racial stereotypes as well). Biting and lunging usually occurs because a dog is stressed, and their previous asks for space were not answered. Having a new puppy can be so hard, because both of you are learning how to understand each other. There are some great dog body language breakdowns you can find online, or a good R+ trainer can help you figure out when your dog’s stress is escalating so you can intervene before they feel like they need to bite or lunge. Some really helpful Instagram accounts from evidence based, positive reinforcement only trainers include:
@up_2_snuff (they have a pitbull themselves)
@tailsofconnection
@calmcanineacademy
@dogminded
@dogmeets_baby (also has great resources for helping older kids understand dog body language and interact with dogs in safe and mutually positive ways!)
I know it can be so scary when your dog bites or lunges at your kid, but keep in mind, your puppy is just a kid too, who is learning how to navigate his new home. Also, no matter what breed of dog, it is always a good idea to supervise kids and dogs, at least until you are sure your kids know to read the dog’s body language for signs of stress (not all dogs will leave a space if they are stressed, they may freeze and then snap). A lot of dogs can find being around lots of kids scary or overwhelming, and unfortunately, I do think media has really fed us a narrative that “good” dogs are basically living stuffed animals that will put up with a lot of situations that even a human would find stressful! You sound like such a great mom and dog owner, and I’m sure you and your puppy will figure it out. :)
I think with lots of training and socialization, aggression wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe talk with your vet for suggestions?
I think you know what you need to do… at the very least, you need to keep child and pup separated at all times, no exceptions, while you work on training the pup.
As a physician who works in the operating room and spent time in both the adult and pediatric ER as a trainee, all of the bad dog bites I have witnessed (bad = required stitches or surgery) have come from pitbulls.
Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear :( I would seek out professional training as a first step. Just remember that re-homing to a childfree home would probably be less stressful and ultimately better for the pup too…
Oh gosh, Rebecca! I haven’t got much experience with Pitbulls, but of course, I’ve heard the stories. Bullys, though? I work at a pet store, and they are my favorite visitors! Hands down! The breed is popular in my area, and their sweetness and openness makes my heart soar every darn time. I’ve never noticed any aggression whatsoever in the 20ish examples that I’d estimate I’ve interacted with. But! I’m a tiny adult – the size of an older kid – and there are times that they bowl me over in their excitement. Their strength has knocked the wind out of me a couple times, but I’ve never, ever felt unsafe. And I’m not even someone that they know *super well*! I bet he already loves your son so, so much. I’m sure these breeds are the subject of so much debate, and that’s fair. Being cautious is a good thing. My ultimate thought, though? You may have your work cut out for you with training, but it would be so worth it. I loove Bullys!
oh my goodness, yes, so hard! Follow your gut and do not leave young kids (under ~6) alone with the dog (any dog!).
Do you use a crate? I think most of us do these days, so that helps.
And get a trainer. Our Bulldog/Boxer mix responds to commands immediately after we trained him with a trainer for 10 wks and spent the first year practicing the training activities.
Rebecca, we were almost in the same boat as we fell in love with a “terrier, pit bull” at the humane society. Know you are not alone! It seems the articles I’ve read just say make sure you take them to beginner or puppy training. Good luck! Our neighbors have a pit mix named Oreo who is just the sweetest.
I’m not a fan of pit bulls or pit mixes, so take that into consideration.
My brother had a pit mix who was CRAZY and destructive. They did all sorts of things to get him under control and train him. But, the last straw was when he lunged at their son and bit him in the face! He got a small cut on his face, but the dog was gone in a few days! My SIL was also pregnant at the time. It was a hard decision, but they had to put the safety of their children above their care for the dog.
If your dog is biting and lunging at your child, that dog should not be in your house. Pits can really hurt a child and it’s just not save, in my opinion. Other types of dogs are also not great around kids and can be aggressive, too.
We also adopted a “lab mix” as a puppy 3 years ago, and as she grew and pit bull ears were evident, I was similarly afraid for my children. After diving into research, I was reassured. Maybe start with Bronwen Dickey’s book Pit Bull: The Battle Over an American Icon. Our dog is the darling of the household and is great with every person and dog she meets.
About the biting and lunging at your son, I wonder if it’s just “puppy play”. My son was 11 when we got our puppy, and she definitely sensed and matched his young boy energy and was more rowdy with him than with any of the rest of us, including my 3-year-old daughter. Time and training helped settle our dog down. Now they still roughhouse with tug-of-war and “wrestling”, but it’s controlled (started and stopped by my son) and she goes right back to being chill.
I hope this helps! I have no regrets about keeping our puppy despite my initial fears, and you’ll find a huge community of pit bull lovers out there once you start looking into the breed. (Disclaimer: I now belong. :)
That is such a tough spot to be in, Rebecca- I’m sorry you’re going through this. When he’s lunging/biting, does it feel aggressive and not like he’s playing or excited? Do you know what his trigger might be to do this?
I’m definitely no dog trainer but if it helps, we rescued a puppy recently that is mostly pit bull and while he is the absolute sweetest boy/shows zero aggression, he likes to play bite and does lunge at your face and try to bite it when he gets excited. He doesn’t actually bite hard when he gets to you (it’s more of a little nip on the chin), but when he does this I try to either say “Ouch” kind of loud to startle him and then say “No biting.” Then I try to sub in a chew toy or something that he actually can bite on and he usually takes it and runs around with it (because again, he’s just super excited). It’s been working so far! (Actual dog trainers, please don’t come for me lol). I hope it gets better for you!
I will add my voice for TRAINING! Our “hound mix” rescue puppy turned out to be pitt bull/Rottweiler and all kinds of things we weren’t prepared for as inexperienced dog owners. We put him in puppy kindergarten right after we got him at 3 months old, and that was great but when he was 5 or 6 months old, he started playing in a way that I found way too rough and scary. He’d jump up on me and grab my clothes, often ripping them. I called a positive discipline trainer and we had a couple private sessions. She taught me how to extinguish the behavior by immediately turning my back when he misbehaved. She also recognized that I was over-stimulating him and she helped me learn how to keep him calm. It took only 2 private sessions and it changed everything! Good luck!
Just wanted to voice my experience with our “mix” adopted from a shelter at 6 months. She too is a bully/pittie/boxer mix, and while I had my reservations, she has turned into the most mellow, happiest, sweetest dog (now age 2) who loves everyone and everything (except vacuums). My boys adore her. She has never nipped at my kids, so that is a concern and something to discuss with a good dog trainer and the shelter your puppy came from. Might not be the best fit for your house, but please know that there are so many wonderful, gentle dogs who are pittie mixes.
Hi Rebecca!
I wouldn’t jump to any big conclusions based on your puppy’s breed alone at this time! What you are seeing may feel more intense than it actually is, as some puppy biting can be a lot! (My border collie was an absolute fiend as a puppy, the devil reincarnate! He’s perfectly behaved and wouldn’t hurt a fly now.) Of course, I don’t know exactly the kinds of behaviors you are seeing, so I can’t assure you that it is NOT aggression toward your son. As such, I would recommend finding a trainer ASAP and getting a professional opinion on the puppy’s behavior. They can let you know what they are seeing and help with any behavior mod or simple tips to redirect your young dog to biting and playing with a more suitable toy.
Please proceed with caution.
My two year old granddaughter (now nine) was attacked by her family rescue dog while she was eating strawberries. The dog sunk her teeth through my girl’s cheek, about two inches from her eye. We spent an awful night in the ER and shortly after spent a couple of days in the hospital due to an infection. We were very lucky the infection did not spread to her brain; also lucky that the dog did not attack the nine month old in the house. Because she might have killed her. She could have bitten clear through her skull.
I am 100% a dog lover and I hate to scare you. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t. Please proceed with extreme caution.
BTW my girl is FABULOUS. I have told her that her scar is her badge of courage and the night it happened I told myself: this girl can do ANYTHING SHE WANTS. She is one tough cookie.
But I wish she had been spared this trauma.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Definitely get a behaviorist in asap to assess what is going on. Try to film the behavior so you have it to share. Also, not all dogs should live with kids, and it is okay to rehome him. That said, a month is not a lot of time for adjustment. I have fostered more than 20 dogs (many pit mixes) and they are certainly still adjusting at one month. The pup is also going through his own development, so you need to keep a tight reign on all pup/kid interactions through adolescence (until he is 2 years old). Use baby gates and control all interactions between the pup and your son. When we brought our dog home when my kids were 4 and 7, they only interacted with our dog in gated areas with rules like that they couldn’t rough play, run, or be on the floor without an adult right there. The dog was two years old and super chill, so within two months we were able to loosen the rules, but the gates and some controls stayed in place for a year. My kids are now 15 and 13, and essentially the same rules still go in place with every new foster until we are through a few week assessment, settling, and decompression period. Some of our fosters are SUPER mouthy and leave me with lots of bruises. Our last foster, who we got at one year old, would mouth me at least 20 times a day when he first entered our home. Verbal correction did not work and only made him mouth more (or bark back). For him, this was all attention seeking behavior, so short periods of isolation worked best. When he recently left our home some six months later, he was down to only mouthing about once a day, so not perfect, but much improved. He had good bite inhibition and didn’t bite hard, but sometimes threw his whole body into it, so there would be enough force to bruise me.
You absolutely need to pay for an experienced trainer and consistently work with the dog to stop these behaviors.
+1 to the recommendation to work with a good trainer who specializes in Bully breeds and also get your pup into obedience classes. Training is for the humans and the dogs, and you need to invest in this ASAP.
Puppies are a ton of work and a good trainer will help you make sure that you have a good canine citizen who can be around kids, dogs, and all people. A trainer will also help you realize if you have a dog that can’t be around kids / cats / people, and then you can make an informed decision about how to proceed.
I say this as someone with over 20 years of experience with rescued pitties and pittie mixes. They are my absolute favorite dogs, and I have had one my entire adult life.
We bought my son a pet tortoise for his 9th birthday a few months ago 🐢 He/she (it’s a baby so we have no idea yet!) is the sweetest thing, so full of personality and a joy to care for😊
I recommend to both of you a movie called Esio Trot (tortoise spelled backwards) written by Roald Dahl, starring Dustin Hoffman, Judi Dench, and James Corden — and s few hundred tortoises. Quite wacky but charming. It’s on Prime.
I don’t have the pet love. I respect that many people do. But to be honest I don’t get it!
I’ve had three dogs and one cat in my adult life, all of whom were adopted as babies. Two of the dogs were utter saints, perfectly behaved in every regard for all of their lives. My cat and current dog were total terrors – tore up the couch, bit strangers, not housebroken, etc. The crazy thing is that I’ve loved them all equally, which is to say totally. There is no accounting for who we love and why.
This post is so timely. I clicked on the link to the snuggly dog not realizing it would be me and Robin’s home tour. I am weeping on my couch writing this. I missed her so much this morning. I am still learning to inhabit a world without her. Thank you for this sweet surprise reminder- she continues to give me signs exactly when I need them most.
Thinking of you, Emma. I love seeing your posts about her even though they make me sad. Thank you for continuing to share her with us. Sending you love ❤️
Emma, I’m so sorry to read that Robin has now passed. I loved reading your home tour, reading the story of your bond, she was so so lucky to have you as a mom ❤
We love you Emma! Robin will always be our sweet girl. xoxo
You and Robin were clearly meant to come together in this life, Emma. ♥️ Sending so much love to both of you.
My husband and I got a goldendoodle puppy during the pandemic (don’t come at me with designer dog hate- there’s a reason they’re so popular). He was SO much work as a puppy. I said it back then, and I maintain it now, 2 kids later- puppies are HARDER than babies. They don’t stay harder for long…babies overtake them maybe around 6 months or so…but omg puppies are so hard, and we may never get one again. But we do love our dog! He is “fallen over” on the floor next to me, and I have to go book his next $150 groom this week.
Our beloved little 17 yo dog died in January. I got her when my husband and I met and we’d only ever been a family with her in it. Every night my 9year old fell asleep declaring his love and heartbreak for Peanut.
Not even 3 months later my sister texted me that she found our dog posted on her neighborhood message board. I felt like we were still in mourning. But a 1-yo poodle mix had been brought to the emergency vet a week after being attacked by a big dog. His leg required amputation and his fur was matted and flea infested. An ER vet tech/angel brought him home to foster him in his recovery. 3 weeks later we adopted him.
He exudes pure joy. He has carried none of his trauma with him. He has no idea that his leg is missing. He is not overthinking it or dwelling on it. He is living in the now and loving every minute of it. He is here for it all—snuggling, fetch, paddleboarding, tummy rubs, camping, chasing bunnies in the yard, rolling in the most disgusting things. We named him Yuki, which means happiness or snow. Because he is the happiest and makes us the happiest and it started snowing when I drove him home on April 24. I also call him chicken nugget because he looks like one.
As a single woman in my 20s, I am in a pretty transient busy period of life which is full of so many rich relationships and experiences AND I get lonely at night coming home to an empty apartment and bed. This started my journey of thinking through what critter could keep me company. I also have misophonia (I see you, Joanna!) and so for me, dogs and cats are pretty out of the question. Enter Isla and Rosie, my two wonderful, cheery, skittish little guinea pigs. Are people taken aback when I tell them I own guinea pigs? Yes. Are people even more taken aback when they see the size of their cage? Yes. It’s always a funny conversation, but The Girls were my constant companions in feelings of big existential loneliness last year. To know there are beings witnessing my life and needing me while I also need them was crucial for me. I now live in a more warm and social home and they live in a different room than me so I miss their little rustles at night and their purrs as they settle in for a nap. But, I make sure to give them daily love and stop in to play guitar for them, which helps them relax.
I love this!! When people ask me if I’m a dog person or a cat person I like to reply that I’m an “every mammal person.” Having a critter of any kind is really truly life changing. So happy you found companions who work well with your lifestyle.
I love that response! Why make it a dichotomy when there are so many mammals of all types to love!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pugs are empaths. Our sweet seven year old pug, who is starting to get happy (read: white) hairs on his chinny chin chin, can always be counted on to rest that chin on your shoulder when you need it the most.
There is only one regular pug visitor at my pet store, and I am absolutely obsessed with her. She beelines straight for me when she comes in, and we’ll hug for a couple minutes before she’ll study my face in all of her nonverbal communication brilliance. In some other universe, she’s a celebrated therapist with a mile-long waiting list. But maybe that’s all pugs. :)
My sweet rescue pup, Ollie passed away suddenly from a rare blood disorder back in March. She was only 5 or 6 years old. It has been so hard to navigate the loss of our sweet Ollie, especially with a toddler who only ever knew what life was like with a dog. She still asks if Ollie is coming home or if she misses us up in doggy heaven. When I answer no and then yes, of course, my heart breaks a bit and then swells. I tell my daughter that we were lucky to have Ollie for as long as we did. That both her and Ollie are our pandemic silver linings. Sending love to all the grieving pet parents.
This is just not right, you cannot make such a heartrendimg post about pets on a Tuesday!
I adopted a black lab puppy with the most wise and handsome face and a lot of anxiety about six months ago and it was absolutely the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. If I didn’t have to work to afford his insanely expensive food, I’d quit and stay at home and snuggle him all day.
Aww, I love reading all of these sweet stories <3. AND I want to hold space for people whose dogs/cats bring not only joy but anxiety and frustration into their lives as well. We have such an idealized version of pets in our society, especially dogs, that it can make it harder for those struggling with a dog who does not meet that ideal. As a professional trainer, I see people living with "problem dogs" frequently and see how much of a mental load it is. Right now, I LOVE my dog and couldn't imagine life without my best friend, but I resented him for years during the height of his anxiety. In fact, I went to therapy to help me through the trauma of watching attack another dog. All that to say, it's okay to both love your dog and resent them for the changes they brought into your life. Both things can be true. And, for anyone who needs to hear it, you're not alone.
Yes! Taylor! I love chatting with trainers at my pet store. I definitely meet a lot of people for whom those television narratives don’t fully reflect their experience with pets. Loving *anyone* doesn’t have to mean loving every single aspect of your relationship! Who has never benefited from a little help in reaching their full potential? You guys make an enormous difference.
Yes! Let me start to say that I am not a cat person …. shortly before the pandemic started, my family (teenagers & husband) decided that they would really like a cat. We had talked about it and at some point I thought “whatever …”. They texted me with photos of a little black kitten that snuggled up to them at the Humane Society, and my response was, well, think about it and then get a litterbox and all the necessary things. That evening, when I came home, we had a little black kitten. It came with the basics from the Humane Society, and has turned out to be such a blessing for all of us. He is now a 5 lbs big black, neutered indoor cat who lives for tummy scratches and sitting on laps. Most of the time someone is at home to indulge him. The rest of the day he naps, digs for imaginary bugs under the living room rug or watches “cat TV” at the back door where the neighborhood strays, raccoons, skunks and squirrels parade by. He has somewhat of a toe fetish, so no naked feet around him … we love our Mo to pieces. I would have never expected that.
I am the person in our house that never wants the pet to begin with (I actually consider the long term responsibilities), but then I inevitably end up being the primary pet caregiver and favored human of said pet(s). (Spoiler alert – I’m the Mom). The 13 year old cat sleeps with me every night and curls up next to me while I work from home all day. The 10 year old dog follows me around the house and climbs into my lap any time i sit down on the couch or floor. My husband complains that the pets don’t like him and my kids think they are boring and want a bunny. (Hard NO). I tell them – if you gave these animals any attention – then they’d return the love back 10 fold…
One more thing about our beloved beagle- my two teenage daughters, who were nightly fighting over who got to sleep with the dog, began the game “her body, her choice.” So every night before bed the girls say “where does Lolly want to sleep tonight? Her body, her choice!” And Lolly chooses a bed, sometimes it’s mine, and the girls respect her choice! It’s really sweet and takes away the “who had her last night” argument. Lolly IS really good at spreading the love around- everyone eventually gets a turn to snuggle with her.
This is so sweet!
Before the pandemic I would not have considered myself a dog lover. I resisted leaning into the affections of our family beagle. She was a puppy and so rambunctious. I was trying to get the kids off to school and myself to work. Then 2020 happened and life slowed down. I was home with her every day for two years. She became like an appendage. Her sweet personality blossomed as my heart truly opened to her. What a lovely friend. My husband says she changed during those years because we “loved her up.” It’s true. She communicates with her own subtleties that the whole family understands. A stern glance means “please play ball, NOW” and paw on the arm- “please more scratches and also, I love you.” And deep groan “please let me sleep longer.” She’s a part of our family and all we had to do was let her in.
I’m reading all these love stories with my Frank laying beside me. He had surgery on Monday to remove a tumor from his anal gland. We first understood this to be very serious and expected to have only a few months with him. Today we found out the tumor was most likely benign and the prognosis is excellent. But those few days of thinking we were loosing him!!! We couldn’t even imagine life without him. My husband says this needs to be his last dog – but I’m not there. Hopefully we’ll find a good settlement on that! These beings bring so much joy and a good bit of sorrow too.
My little sister wanted to go to the humane society one day and I told her, sure, but don’t get any ideas. There was a meek, senior cat who made an effort to come see us. We left him there but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I secretly went back every day for two weeks. I’m allergic to cats and, I couldn’t understand it, I MISSED him and he wasn’t even mine. I adopted him and he was the best relationship of my life. His name was Captain. My little soulmate. He left this world too soon but, his sweet parting gift to me, I’m no longer allergic to cats. And now, because of him, I will only ever adopt seniors for the rest of my life.
This is beautiful.
This is so sweet – thank you!
Ah, that happened to me, My Boots passed on at 14 and I lost it, I was so lonely and saw a dog near me up for adoption, went there and he was gone yet another with a broken leg took my heart and she was mine for 17 years, today I only adopt senior dogs that have been abandoned, abused and dumped, so now I am on my 5th senior who is the love of my life. They show so much love and loyalty and are fiercely protective of me and their home. I believe in my past life, I was a dog!
You are a wonderful person!
I love that, Sherry! Seniors are so special and, I swear, the love is just different. I cannot recall the original author, but I once read a quote along the lines of, “They may not be there for every day of our lives, but we are there for the rest of theirs. And that is what matters.”
My husband and I knew each other a bit in college – though we went to different schools he would come visit our mutual friend at my school when he was home on break. When we met again years later and quickly fell in love, he never sounded fully confident that he remembered me. I asked him once to PROVE IT, and he said “I brought a kitten to a party, and once you learned that, you disappeared into the back bedroom with the kitten, never to be seen again.” Welp, as a notorious and proud crazy cat lady, I couldn’t deny that he had correctly identified me. Case closed. 20 years later we share our lives with 3 fluffy giant guys.
My mother in law once said that having a pet is especially important for boys. The world is giving them the message to be strong and tough. A pet allows them to be soft and playful and silly. I continue to see this with my son, who is now 21 (!), and continues to get down on the floor and cuddle, take care of our two Goldens, and say all kinds of silly things to them…
That is so sweet, getting down on the floor to their level is so important and shows a deep caring person, your son sounds wonderful.
Boys also need to roughhouse and get a lot of touch that way. My 19 y/o nephew wrestles two lab dogs when a friend visits. We laugh that it’s a way to tire them all out.
We got a puppy two weeks ago, and I’m mot going to lie, it hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies, the potty training, midnight waking, and teething, has been a challenge but she is sweet and playful and we love her. The other day my 7 year old came to me and said “life is so much better with Ruby”, and omg my heart almost exploded.
Have you looked at the “puppy101” subreddit on Reddit? It’s a great community and may bring some levity to your situation. The puppy phase is REALLY hard. My husband stayed at home with our puppy for the first few weeks after we got him during the pandemic, and he would send me expletive-laden texts like, I’m ready to throw this puppy off the balcony!
And potty training is HARD – so many places claim that you can “potty train in 7 days!!!”, but the reality is that it takes much longer for dogs to be fully potty trained. Having a yard is really helpful and accelerates the time frame (coming from someone who raised our puppy in an apartment and now has a yard)
And good lord, the separation anxiety!! The crate training!! Ack. I feel stressed just thinking about it.
But the end result is a dog you raised from scratch and is perfectly adapted to YOUR lifestyle. I will not lie, it took about one full year for our puppy to “become” the dog we had hoped for – for him to grow out of bad habits, be trusted to be left on his own in the house, for us to know he would be fine around the kids. He’s still not perfect, but he’s the dog of our dreams <3
Our dog sleeps in her own bed under my husband’s night stand. She never tries to sleep in our bed at night- doesn’t even want to hang around for cuddles at night. But, she goes through phases where around 6-7am she’ll come to my side of the bed and nose me until I scooch over so she can snuggle with me. She’ll do it every morning for weeks and then not at all, and never on my husband’s side of the bed. Things like that really make me feel like she’s her own little person. She has wants! Preferences! Some mornings call for snuggles!
And here I was half expecting a hard-launch of a new Goddard family dog, haha!! :)
aww hahaha this would have been the perfect opportunity!
My dad died in early 2022 and because his sweet dog, Maddie, is a 60 lb beefcake, my mom can’t really handle taking her out for walks. So my partner and I brought her home to live with us and our dog, Frank.
Taking care of Maddie has been the greatest joy. She and Frank have completely bonded and are the most adorable little senior citizens.
But the best part is the every day, I get to wake up to this bright, smiling face that my dad also woke up to every morning. She and I share the same routines that they did, and it helps me feel close to my dad. What a gift! ❤️
oh gosh yes, what a gift indeed. I didn’t expect to tear up at the first comment I read, but here I am. So happy for you and for Maddie, you are a gift to each other that your dad gave to both of you.
Oh my your line about waking up to the same face your dad also woke up to really got to me. So profound and beautiful. Maddie is a lucky and much loved pet!
This is so sweet! Happy for you –and Maddie!
Last week, I was on vacation in the Adirondack mountains and we spent an evening at Great Camp Sagamore, one of those old gorgeous camps built in the 19th century owned by the Vanderbilts. There was a single gravestone with a carving of a cocker spaniel, which read, “Inky/Always the best friend I will ever have / Born August 1, 1920 / Died October 18, 1936.”When we left, my little girls were calling out, “Bye, Inky! Bye, Inky!” It was so touching to come across this little grave of a very beloved pup, born over 100 years ago!
I had to look it up! http://galenf.com/eh74_ny/farm04.jpg
It took my husband and I 3 years to get (and stay) pregnant with our son, and I’m honestly not sure I could have done it without our dog and cat. They laid on the couch with me, they gave me a purpose on some days, they made me feel so much more calm and centered without saying anything. I love their stinky furry faces so much.
So after years of going without cats, my husband brought two into my life. One, who was the runt of the litter, was incredibly shy and neurotic (she hid for entire weekends when I would come visit). After my husband left Brooklyn and moved upstate to be with me, I’ve seen this little cat flourish. She greets me when I get home from work and gives me nose kisses. She proudly sleeps on my pillow and will hang out with us when we watch TV. I’ve seen her become braver around other people and pets, and she continues to grow and surprise me – even as a “senior” cat. Just to be fair, the other cat is absolutely perfect too, just a very different personality (we joke that she’s secretly a dog). In any case, pets are the best.
Watching our senior cat shift personalities as she became an elder (and the kids of the house were no longer a threat, because they were older too!) was so beautiful. She became a lap cat (the now-grown kids were like “finally I get to snuggle with her and she’s not going to bat her claw at me!”) because she needed their physical warmth to soothe her aches and pains. It was so sweet.
Having two dogs made the it easier when my kids left for college. We have two French Bulldogs who are the best! Previously, we had 3 rescue pitbulls over the past 20 years. I still miss them. Hopefully, we will always have dogs. Unfortunately, my daughter is very allergic to cats.
Having two French Bulldogs has made the transition easier now that my kids have left for college. They bring so much joy and companionship into our lives. Over the past 20 years, we had three wonderful rescue pitbulls whom we still miss dearly. I hope we’ll always have dogs in our home. Unfortunately, my daughter is allergic to cats, so dogs will always be our furry family members
Every night I tell my dog “good night, sleep tight, let the good dreams bite. I love you with all my heart” and he gets a kiss between each word and I stare at him as he dozes off and imagine what I did to deserve him. He’s a quintessential Covid pup (bday is 3/2020) and he came into my life at the worst, yet best, possible time.
I tell my 13 year-old Poodle Terrier mix daily, “I love you with all my heart and all my brain” haha. Going to steal your “let the good dreams bite”, that’s a good one!!!
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Come for the blog, stay for the comments.
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